21 July 2010 bored and wondering what will happen next

We left home just 8 days ago today and I am filled with all these doubts, longings and frustrations. I started this blog because I don't want to post things that are so honest and personal on my usual blog. I don't want family back home to know how I see it here. Admittedly I do only have 1 follower anyway of my blog but I don't want my life to be a complete open book to everyone or even anyone. This will be like a diary. I am so hoping I last the 2 years that would make it worthwhile making this trek away from the comforts of home, loved family and friends and all that is familiar. I miss my bed and my pillow. It just isn't the same snuggling up to Jordan here - it doesn't feel comfortable or cosy. But that's the way it is and the way it will probably be for the next dare I say it 24 months. 24 months and counting!!!!!! Hape thinks after here we will go somewhere else in Aus. I said I am heading home with the kids. I know you earn more here and Hape says the nursing conditions are heaps better - but I long to be home. At first I was really resentful when we got here- thinking what was he thinking???? Did he really think that this would be a good environment for our family? I think people must be mad to live here on Thursday Island - but then that is just me. The locas are really friendly. I am worried about teh baby and the birth as not sure what is going to happen and where and when I will have it. The Dr I saw yesterday when he rang the hospital for something was told that they don't typically do #c-sections. What is it about me that means I can't give birth like normal people????